Well...Day 5 It is.....

Yesterday...I felt like a failure..... Around 1:30p I became super light headed... very dizzy...and I thought I was going to pass out... I sat in the back on my break and felt like death. (except lets get real I don't really know what that feels like)  My boss came in the back room with subway placed it behind me and said EAT.  He stated that he brought me something healthy and said enough is enough you need food.  This is your body telling you it needs something now either you eat or you go HOME.  I felt horrible but I did it.  Subway had never tasted so good to me in all my life.  I feel like a failure because I did however only make it five days on my cleanse.  I am not giving up though.  I still am doing my two shakes a day and going to juice in the morning with a healthy meal at night.  This is a marathon not a sprint.  Its amazing how quickly though you give up after you feel like you have failed.  Yesterday depression set in right away.  I came home from work had pasta because I was emotional eating (in my mind I had already failed) and went straight to bed.  I didn't want to talk to anyone or even watch TV.  I just wanted to sleep because I was mad with myself. (I am embarrassed for the way I responded to my failure yesterday but I want to be as real as possible in this blog and not lie.)   What was I mad about? I had made it more than most people would have on this.  Why do I always have to compare myself to others?  Katie last year at this time would have not made it past day 1 dinner without eating.  Especially since I work in a grocery store.  I woke up today and realize I am proud of myself.  I am proud of who I have become and I am happy with what God has given me.  I am very lucky for the friends and family in my life and I will continue on this journey.  This blog really does help me keep going.  I am a very words of affirmation person so all the messages I have been receiving are like gifts for me! Hopefully today I will not feel as I did yesterday.